it's been awhile

it's been awhile after I've posted about me and him fought over something, well it was me who started the war. my bad. up till now, we still in that silent treatment and cold war. Allahu Allah. Woke up this morning and something crossed my mind; after what we've been together, macam tu ja sekelip mata hilang rasa kebergantungan terhadap satu sama lain. Sungguhlah dunia yang sifatnya sementara, juga segala isi didalamnya. Jadi kusandarkan doa dan serahkan pula hati pada Dia yang selayaknya.. Sehebat mana aku cuba, kalau kita bukanlah ditakdirkan bersama, tak jadi juga.. Let's cherish masa yang kita ada to spent together sbb kita tak tahu until when kita sama sama, mungkin esok kita stranger to each other, wallahualam.

Terima kasih, for being nice all these while :) alhamdulillah. Semuga masih ada masa untuk kita lebih kenal hati budi masing masing, and for now, focus utk career dlu inshaa Allah!

maaf

i felt so stupid.

marah orang yang cukup baik dengan kita.

just because.

just because aku rasa permintaan die terlalu mengada ngada.

tapi sesal datang tanpa diduga

sebab tahu hati dia lembut

dan tak patut dapat layanan macam tu pun

bukan aku tak menghargai kehadiran dia

tapi banyak tapi

lepas satu dan satu hal

mungkin mudah melupakan itu, aku

yang susah itu, mungkin dia

dan mungkin sebaliknya

tapi jenisnya diri aku

bila dah maaf

aku lupa semuanya

dan tak semua orang sama dengan aku

cuba untuk faham

tapi situasi ini hampir sebulan

dan aku rasa

sampai bila

maaf dan lupa mungkin mudah bg aku, hanya aku, bukan dia

dan aku kata aku sabar

tapi bila dah lama

dan aku rasa sabar tu sampai kemuncak sabar

tapi aku tahu

lepas tu kena sabar juga

dan aku tahu salah dan puncanya itu aku

dan aku cuba untuk membetulkan semua

tapi hampir semua usaha itu juga nampaknya salah

dan bolehkan kalau dia

tunjukkan dan ajarkan aku cara yang dia selesa

supaya aku dapat buat apa yang dia suka

sebaiknya

dan jangan katakan pada aku

kekurangan layanan dan sikapku 

tanpa tunjukkan pada aku bagaimana yang sesuai dengan dia

sebab aku tak pandai baca minda orang

dan aku tak suka nak main tarik tali

kalau itu, katakan itu

agar biar jelas fahamnya

maaf

aku sedar

bila dah marah tu punya dalam hati

apa yang manis pun dah tak rasa manis lagi

tapi mana jauhnya boleh pergi dengan amarah dan ego?

kakakkeliru

me and him

back in 2012, whilst waiting for lift, a cute stranger asked my name "Nana Farhanah"? we exchanged smile and I managed to asked his name as well. I forgot about our first met until I saw him at Arabic food restaurant on my graduation. But just acting cool, curik curik tengok ja and whisper dalam hati "that guy, i know him." 

Terhenti disitu.

Sampailah before datang Adelaide, I texted him thru facebook asking about some system and networking thingy. I'm always waiting for reply from him, tah hape hape. I should be more sensitive lepas ni, tahu apa yang kita rasa. And again, it stopped there. 

After I've settled down in Adelaide, we became friend (thanks FB but he got my number thru instagram) yeay! :D Alhamdulillah that everything went well and now dah a year and half, still counting. Tapi, belum sah halal lagi. Cuma sekadar dia tahu hati ini sayang dia, and likewise. 

First dating, dkt Mcdonald dgn kawan kawan.hahah lepas tu second date pun dgn kawan kawan..third and onwards je berdua lebih baik.kahkahkah ohhh he did bought me something all way long from Phuket (with love bruhh) and selendang semerah hati kita. *overnya*

I'm glad he finally said thing I was praying for during Ramadhan and he managed to meet arwah tok last year Raya. He came for a visit all way long from KL, I'm appreciated it and I started to love him more deeply. I once told myself that I will marry a guy who managed to meet my grandma, alhamdulillah its him, and muga dia lah yang sambut tangan wali kita terima nikah nanti inshaa Allah.aamiin

dia, cukuplah dia Tuhan.

yang hiasi hariku dengan senyuman dan wajah manisnya.

yang tak buat aku lupa pada pencipta

yang kasihnya buat aku dahagakan sayang pelukan emak

yang bila bersamanya buat aku jadi rapat dengan semua

yang buka mataku cinta bukan segalanya

yang mengajar aku untuk sentiasa berpada bersederhana

yang mengajar aku melihat dunia dr mata hati

terima kasih awak, yang berkejar ke airport nak bawa saya balik kedah tgk arwah atok. yang sanggup dtg dr kl ke bangi tiap kali kita jumpa. yang selalu paksa sy makan habis makan bebanyak. and thanks lahhh sbb tahan dgn perangai clingy sy.

awak. yang selalu buat tak tahu padahai caring tahap boleh bengkak mata kita nangis.

motif? I'm just glad u're part of my life and maybe one day part of my family inshaa Allah. aamiin

because I seriously in love.

Syukur, alhamdulilllah.

space

Assalamualaikum :)

If you have to leave, can't u remember why we choose to be together at first. Well, we stil can make a good ending for every story in our life thou the beginning not really nice.


Kalau banyak sgt benda bad happened, cant u even remember at least one good memory we had together and hold to it? So that we can still be together.

 if ur heart say u should leave, no matter  how hard I try to make u stay, I believe you will walk away. And everything happen with Allah will. :)

Cause there's no use if u always see the bad in the good thing.

Im giving you all spaces u need and use it wisely from now.

saying goodbye wasnt that hard when u've got enough.

Wooo I was surprised to see 100 pageviews today, I mean like seriously!? just a random click I believe.

Theres an issue with my Facebook dp where everyone thoughts a guy holding my hand. Totally crap, lemme explain but wait, ghetiss ke? Just who want to know :p

Im totally happy some people walk out of my life these days.hihi I dont need those friends who only bring negative vibe.  Treat me badly, its a statement of who you are. If I really deserve it, alhamdulillah well at least Ive got some of punishment in dunya foe all bad things Ive did ;)

well live yourlife for the sake of Allah. Never ever bother about anyone else's life, we got our own story and make it a good history peeps!

Love and me?hahah
People said lady should marry a guy who crazy of her, not her chasing crazily to that guy. Well, I strongly agre.

gumbira sangat to know your true colour

I felt bad for someone. Because of me, I've put him and her fav girl almost into a fight (maybe, but no I guess).

Wishing you guys happily ever after and chill lah akak, I have my fav men yg sangat kacak rupa dan hati inshaa Allah, aamiin!

And for all harsh words Ive received today until menangis Iolls semuga air mata tu jadi air terjun yang menarik utk iollss and family di syurga nti inshaa Allah, aamiin.

Sebab I'm too sad to even tipu sikit say I'm okay dkt my superman, maaf iolls tk dpt reply ur wechat tonight.

Yes, iolls tk kuat mana.

Pesanan utk akak and abg tu, iolls bersyukur Allah pisahkan kita dulu. Alhamdulillah.

barakah!

"Ahah.. I too experienced this.. Once upon a time.. Except that im the guy.. Or exactly like ur bf.. Well for me, we nid someone like u, i mean the loved one.. But we dont want to be attached.. And this of course happens when we are already too long in a relationship.. I dont know about anyone else's but again, he is exactly like me.. Except that i spent more time with my video games than friends.. Ahaa.. So my advice to u, keep sabar.. Yeah bcakap lg senang dr buat.. But thats one of the thing in a relationship.. Other than loyalty trust and so on.. Btw, u can always argue with him about how is ur relationship is heading.. Dont makan hati sorang diri.."

My bestfriend trying to say that Im annoying in nice way, good boy Vixar.

Exactly. And I know, the other half of me pun makan hati juga sebab kita asyik nak attention like helloo nana, dia bukan laki kau sah lagi okay nak kongkong sana kepit sini mana boleh oihhh. And i know, this all happened bukan my other half yang nak, but Allah. Kan kan?! Sebab Allah love us both, jd kalau asyik kepit and spending time together, nti dh kahwin, dh boring dh hilang barakah tu. After all, thanks Allah :) senuga tertulis dia untukku and likewise, Allahumma Aamiin! ;)

And now, Im okayyy! just have faith and enjoy life :)